Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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