I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
