So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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