If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
