wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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