is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
