dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
