On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
