that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
