he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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