Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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