I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.