i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious