Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.