And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too