Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Do you need to be saved?

  (847): View more from Illinois

  No I think I'm God

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): Do you need to be saved? (847): No I think I'm God http://tfl.nu/obwr
  Replies (11) Good night (1664) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I think im going to throw up on grandma

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): I think im going to throw up on grandma http://tfl.nu/l2gu
  Replies (3) Good night (812) Bad night (2563)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not. http://tfl.nu/av9b
  Replies (10) Good night (5513) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick. http://tfl.nu/ongn
  Replies (27) Good night (6418) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF http://tfl.nu/hsyz
  Replies (20) Good night (3836) Bad night (1138)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready. http://tfl.nu/0n0r
  Replies (16) Good night (7060) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far? http://tfl.nu/ph4e
  Replies (59) Good night (5995) Bad night (1284)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father" http://tfl.nu/5bjg
  Replies (20) Good night (1219) Bad night (5653)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger. http://tfl.nu/xwib
  Replies (33) Good night (1631) Bad night (3608)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him. http://tfl.nu/2jpe
  Replies (5) Good night (1250) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead http://tfl.nu/k2d6
  Replies (5) Good night (737) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion. http://tfl.nu/z4as
  Replies (5) Good night (1016) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose. http://tfl.nu/d385
  Replies (6) Good night (529) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra http://tfl.nu/3wvg
  Replies (4) Good night (539) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"

  (707): View more from California

  Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (559): Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!" (707): Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war. http://tfl.nu/84el
  Replies (6) Good night (1336) Bad night (258)

Randomize