Texts From Last Night

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.

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  (602): im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child. http://tfl.nu/zwuo
  Replies (16) Good night (1824) Bad night (4042)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.

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  (317): you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american. http://tfl.nu/y2yd
  Replies (24) Good night (6596) Bad night (1323)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?

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  (716): I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone? http://tfl.nu/d362
  Replies (8) Good night (1697) Bad night (2651)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.

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  (816): I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen. http://tfl.nu/atwf
  Replies (10) Good night (3194) Bad night (1168)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.

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  (518): I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon. http://tfl.nu/pj69
  Replies (9) Good night (1330) Bad night (3564)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it

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  (661): I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it http://tfl.nu/7h1l
  Replies (4) Good night (1203) Bad night (1869)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B

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  (303): I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B http://tfl.nu/0558
  Replies (11) Good night (3512) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi

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  (832): Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi http://tfl.nu/cj6k
  Replies (10) Good night (1355) Bad night (1017)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.

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  (717): I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups. http://tfl.nu/ij1j
  Replies (1) Good night (1331) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (819): View more from Quebec

  I have grass duct taped all over my body

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  (819): I have grass duct taped all over my body http://tfl.nu/3nqm
  Replies (2) Good night (1025) Bad night (664)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I'm always drunk lately

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears

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  (647): I'm always drunk lately (647): Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears http://tfl.nu/384i
  Replies (3) Good night (1241) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend

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  (607): Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend http://tfl.nu/0ja4
  Replies (2) Good night (789) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Holy high batman

  (408): View more from California

  The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course

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  (408): Holy high batman (408): The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course http://tfl.nu/9imx
  Replies (1) Good night (703) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam

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  (416): Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam http://tfl.nu/r47y
  Replies (1) Good night (588) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.

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  (720): You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night. http://tfl.nu/h9pj
  Replies (0) Good night (478) Bad night (212)

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