Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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