can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
