Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
