Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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