all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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