she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
