Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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