I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
