Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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