Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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