i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
