That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
