I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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