if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize