You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
