We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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