Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
