the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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