i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize