i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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