Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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