i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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