Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
