i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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