I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
