When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
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Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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