some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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