i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
