I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
