the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
