Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
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He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
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We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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