I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I intend to get homeless drunk
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
