it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
there is puke in my bra ... again
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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