Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
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