i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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