I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
