It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
