Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize