I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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