watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize