these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
