I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
