At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
