I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So much rum. So many feels.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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