it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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