We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
