Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
only if we run a train.
done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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