do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
