dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
