The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
