I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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