In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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