I'm drive I can fine osifer
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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